If you can look upon your entire past and feel uplifted, you are probably living a wonderful life. But for most of us, looking upon our past invokes both happy and sad feelings.
It seems that human nature has us programmed to focus more on those things that bother us from our past than those that make us feel good about ourselves. Disagreeable feelings could be anger from some unresolved issue, grief over a lost relationship or regret from a missed opportunity. It could be a combination of these feelings and others like guilt for a mistake made, or shame from an embarrassing event in our lives. Sometimes we can go for months or even years without thinking about one of these unpleasant memories, but no matter how long time passes, it seems that we cannot escape our minds from bringing up our unhappy past.
The good news is that an unpleasant memory comes into our awareness for a reason. The reason is for it to be healed. And over the past few months, there seems to more coming up than ever before to be healed. To better understand what constitutes healing, we need to clear up some confusion about what healing is.
Healing is not the same thing as forgetting. As hard as we may try, the memories just do not seem to go away.
Moving on is not the same as healing. Soldiers returning from battle have moved on with their civilian lives, but many still carry unhealed energies that expresses as PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).
Ignoring is not the same as healing. People try to ignore or cover up their pain by escaping usually through excessive or extreme measures such as becoming a workaholic, an alcoholic, or some kind of addictive, numbing behavior.
Accepting is not healing it if we “accept” our problems as unchangeable either as a deserved punishment, a victim of circumstance or unavoidable karma.
And there is usually fear or resistance around healing that stops us from finally letting go of our unwanted past. Otherwise, most of us would have already done it.
All true healing begins with a Desire to heal which starts with honestly looking at our unhealed past to see what is bothering us deep inside. So why don’t we? It is because we do not see the deeper truth behind our past. It is because we are listening to our body’s ego while ignoring the voice of our own Soul.
Your ego will try to keep you stuck in a continuous cycle of beliefs such as you are not worthy of healing and you are not deserving of Love.
Whether it is fear, anger, regret, shame, guilt, etc., your ego’s thoughts about something in your past are creating a disturbance in your energy which is felt as emotion. Over years, this disharmony or dis-Ease in your energy can manifest as physical symptoms and disease in addition to the behavioral issues mentioned above. All forms of physical, mental and emotional disharmony, pain or dis-Ease are messages in the form of symptoms from your Soul calling out for healing.
Even when faced with all of this suffering, your ego still wants you to believe that you are unworthy of forgiveness or healing your mistakes. From your ego’s perspective, looking at them would be to admit failure, appear wrong or even worse to be judged by others. The voice of your ego-mind in your head worries constantly what the outside world will think of you and how you might be condemned by them for your past mistakes.
Yet, true healing does not have anything to do with the outside world. You can involve the outside world if you would like to, but healing does not depend upon anything or anyone outside of you. If you think they do, stop believing this. It is time to take your power back and let them go. Your healing, not theirs, is something that originates from inside of you. It is not dependent upon someone else’s opinion, only yours about yourself.
Because healing is an internal act, you, and you alone, have complete control over it. You have the power to forgive yourself and to heal yourself. For those that have deep religious beliefs, know that God or Source has already forgiven you. It is up to you, to use your free will to accept it.
Self-forgiveness is truly Soul work, it is holy, it is divine and it only involves you, so in truth, there is nothing to fear from anything or anyone in facing Your past. If there is a temporary emotional obstacle that you have created to prevent you from healing, don’t fight it. Allow it to be without resisting it, and it will begin to lose its grip on you. The more you resist it, the stronger it gets. The more you let go, the weaker it gets. Letting go of your emotional trauma is as simple as deciding to, yet this is perhaps the most difficult part of healing for most people.
Allow yourself to feel it; notice where in your body you feel it, and embrace it. Let it be and watch how nothing will happen to you as you literally embrace your past, allowing it to be, and sending it Love. Eventually it will dissolve away, and you will heal.
Accept your past. Love your past. Bless your past. And most importantly, forgive yourself. These are all acts of Self-Love, deserving of the Divine being that you are.
Recognize the new awareness you gained from your past experiences. Do not judge your experiences. This only forms an obstacle to healing them, that leads to the cycle of self-deprecation. Celebrate the new wisdom you acquired from your experience and see that as the gift of awareness.
If you still have doubt that you can, know that accepting, loving, blessing and forgiving your past does not mean you are condoning it. You will still have memories, but they will become energetically neutral and not carry the negative emotional energy. Congratulate yourself for raising your consciousness and increasing the flow of the healing energy of Love in your Life. After you have healed yourself, if you desire, you can still attempt to reconcile with someone from your past, not for your own closure or seeking forgiveness, but as an act of Love to help them heal too.
Even if you were involved in a horrific crime, forgive yourself and move forward with the awareness of what you would do differently now. Accept that you were a different person back then with different understandings and beliefs, that you no longer carry because of personal growth. We all must do this as part of mastering Life if we desire to live a Life of Love and serve the Divine.
There are former gang members who served prison time for killing someone in their teens, who are now contributing members of society. Some are even working in the communities they came from to help deter youth from making the same mistake. They are living fulfilling lives and helping to make a positive difference in the world.
The opportunity to do the same is there for each us in our own unique way. The more we can heal, the more Love we can experience in our lives and extend to others. There is no higher way to contribute in making the world a better place.